Though I know I shouldn't have been surprised, it is impossible for me to ignore the sense of shock that shot through me at seeing Valentine's Day advertisements before most people were even back from celebrating their late December festivities. It came off as pure brashness for retail stores to already be advertising for the next holiday. Candies, jewelry, flowers, cards - as if all of these things were essential accompaniments to those magic words of "I love you". Car companies will even try to convince you that buying their newest model is the perfect way to show the true level of your love.Early in my relationship, Rob set me straight on a few things - there would be no gifts of jewelry or flowers from him. Now more commonly understood, he was ahead of his time in believing that the flower industry was damaging in it's pesticide use and mono-cropping practices, while jewelry production often requires toxic and scarring extraction processes. And with candies, most contain ingredients that make me sick.
Nowadays you can find organic flowers, recycled jewelry, and naturally sweetened candies. That doesn't mean that I expect any of those things when February 14th rolls around. Even if those chocolates are now fair trade and the flowers are grown without pesticides, Valentine's Day, unfortunately, remains commercial. I mean, why should you have to spend money to say "I love you", and shouldn't you be saying it and showing it every day rather than rely on a day in mid-February to push it out of you?
All of this is counter-culture and cold sounding, I know. So what if people decide to be extra romantic because of a day marked on the calendar. Isn't it still, well, romantic? Sure. And it's not that we completely ignore Valentine's. A homemade gourmet meal, or a similar dining experience is sufficient for us.
In the meantime, I "settle" the rest of the year with Rob's alternative brand of romance: hiking late night down the beach to check out tide pools and an elephant seal colony; being protected by his engulfing arms in the middle of a thrashing mosh pit; laying in a meadow, staring at stars while flapping bats squeak above us. All of these moments are worth more to me than a diamond encrusted hunk of jewelry any day.
2 comments:
Flowers should be around. Flowers should be everywhere. The finest are, as you know, organic, farmer's market flowers. February 14th doesn't do justice to the amount of beauty of flowers hold.
Yes, flowers are nice. To get a little graphic, another reason Rob doesn't like giving flowers is that he says it's removing the reproductive organs of the plant. He doesn't think it's fair to rob then of their penises.
On that note, he once gave me a living miniature rose plant.
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