My Own Dose of Flower Power

I've long been familiar with the old adage of every motivation being rooted in fear or love. Recognizing that truth has helped me understand my inner and interpersonal relationships over the years.

Even with this knowledge, I too often feel the fear factor keeping me where I am, rather than allowing me to follow the obstacle-strewn path of challenges that will result in growth. It's just so much easier to take the familiar path, cleared of its pits and boulders to stumble on.

Where I've felt this the most the last couple of years is with my progress towards two big physical goals: competing in tae kwon do and climbing gym routes rated 5.11 A+. To say it's been slow moving is an understatement. It's not quite stagnate, but more like dragging my feet through mud - some progress is made, but definitely not at the rate I'd like.

Amazingly, earlier this month I made huge strides. I pushed myself to climb a 5.10 C and did it flawlessly, helping to break through mental blocks that said that it was above my level. In truth, I should be climbing routes especially if they are a notch above my level so that I can learn the moves and build the strength to take the next steps. I need to be willing to take some falls every now and then. Most importantly, I have to stop underestimating my skill level and stop sticking with the simple, ego-stroking routes that just reinforce what I already knew I could easily do.

On the tae kwon do front, at the last minute I finally competed in a tournament as well - throwing aside excuses of lack of preparation and an achy body. And next month I'm planning on competing again.

And, oddly enough, in the same week that those two big accomplishments came to fruition, I pulled out and dusted off an old art project from the last few years that is just waiting for it's last step to be completed. I had put it off for so long out of fear that covering it in varnish would ruin it, yet until it is coated, it's useless. This final step will hopefully happen next week.

It's strange that all of these things should happen around the same time. Or is it?

Last week when I went to see my herbalist for my monthly appointment, we had our usual check in. I told him how I had seen progress in my health - less colds, more energy, etc. Then he asked me how I liked the blackberry essence that he had added to my tincture I had taken for the last month. Since it had been a month since we talked about it, I ask him what it was for. His response? To overcome obstacles.

Call it coincidence, or call it flower power - the most important thing to me is that something inside me got me moving through the marsh of fear that I had wallowed in for too long.